Rats! There go the Brussels Sprouts…

My family loves Brussels Sprouts – those perfect little piquant globes of green goodness in the wintertime. So, there had to be a row of these plants in my new vegie garden. Of course, if there were going to grow Brussels Sprouts, there also had to be had a supply of Kale and Kohlrabi, two cruciferous vegetables I associate with my early life in Hungary. There were already three burgeoning Zucchini plants taking over one end of my little plot, promising enough produce to satisfy our Zucchini-loving Scottie, my tendency to hide shredded Zucchini in all sorts of dishes (Rumpole hates Zucchini! – so it has to masquerade as something else) and to provide ammunition for my planned late-summer stealth Zucchini bombings by night of our neighbours front stoops.

So there we were, outside by the rows to be planted – Jessica, Lookingforbeauty and me. Seedlings at the ready we busied ourselves planting before nightfall. Lookingforbeauty was placing onion seedlings into available unplanted spots in the rows. I was fluffing up Kale fronds and admiring them, when all of a sudden Lookingforbeauty uttered “Shoo, dog!” I looked up from my admiration of new green seedlings to spot Jessica sprawled, nonchalant among the Brussels Sprouts rows, working her jaws over a healthy bit of growth. I leaped up and made to chase her away, at which threatening gesture she merely hopped to her feet, threw herself onto the grass verge and began to roll around luxuriously, meanwhile keeping a beady eye open should I reach her to give her a swat on the bum.

I made like a shreaking scarecrow, but she simply sprinted around in the garden, making spectacular leaps over the vegetable rows. I looked at the damage she had done to the Brussels Sprouts. Four plants chewed down to their roots in the ground! By this time, Jessica was hiding behind the already planted Kohlrabi on the other side of the row. She was starting in on the Kohlrabi leaves, meanwhile peering out at me from under her awning-like eyebrows. I chased her around some more. She is short and fat, but boy can she move when motivated!

“You’re going to have to keep her out of this garden,” commented Lookingforbeauty. “It’s your own fault, G, for giving her all kinds of vegetables as treats. You spoil that dog!”

“But, just look at that little mug – those saucy eyes, that gooofy clowning she does. I can’t resist her in the slightest.” I said. “At least vegetables are good for her – the vitamins, you know?”

But, I have decided. Those remaining Brussels Sprouts will be in the forefront of my vigilance against the depredations of my vegetarian pooch. So will the Kohlrabi, Kale and Zucchini. If she behaves herself for the rest of the growing season, I promise to let her sample the produce come harvest time. I’m sure Rumpole will not be heart-broken to share the Zucchini bounty with her. Hah!

8 Responses to “Rats! There go the Brussels Sprouts…”

  1. tysdaddy Says:

    Our pug took to my wife’s tomato plants about a week ago. He did receive the swat . . .

  2. Marsha J. O'Brien Says:

    “Having her for a friend is like having a personal stand-up comic in attendance and on call to lift the spirits when occasion demands. She regaled me with anecdotes”…Your words are like music. They often transport me and always are written magically. Great job on your posts!”
    Love via the air – my spirit to yours!

  3. ybonesy Says:

    A brussels-sprout lovin’ dog…sounds like my dogs. They will eat peaches off trees if they can reach the branches, and I have caught one of them on his hind legs, like a bear, eating peaches.

    I have missed your wonderful storytelling, G. I just love the words you use and the pace and voice. Good luck with the remaining brussels sprouts (they are yummy!) and please let us know how it is you prepare them. Butter, salt and pepper? Somehow I imagine yours have more to them than that.

  4. Deborah Barlow Says:

    This posting was heartwarming. I’m thinking about you a lot and wishing you the best.

  5. suburbanlife Says:

    Brian – poor spanked pug – they are far too darling to spank. Yes – it’s lousy she ate your tomato plants. G

    marsha – you are a love! Thank you! G

    ybonesy – Now that’s weird, dogs standing up to eat peaches from a tree. Good thing they are not climbers ( or are they???) otherwise you’d be without a load of peaches to can.
    The remaining brussel sprouts are doing well. i have discovered that if i keep the sprinkler going while Jessica is in the garden she stays away from the veggies. Why do good ideas occur after the fact? Aargh! G

    Deborah – thank you so much. i am beginning to see, so am cautiously optimistic.
    Your photos of your opening were just great. Looks like a beautiful show. I would love to actually see the surface characteristics of your paintings – they look as if you breathed them into existence, but obviously they are the fruit of a loving labour. G

  6. MadSilence Says:

    So few friends & family can appreciate the little Sprout, sauted with butter.

  7. suburbanlife Says:

    MadSilence – I am looking with hungry eyes at my vegetable-raised dog.
    Jessica on the spit, surrounded by barbecued veggies and home-grown salad. But no, she is well appreciated for her delightful doggishness. Cannot deprive the world of her presence. G

  8. lookingforbeauty Says:

    And the consolation is….
    In the fall, we can just buy the local B Sprouts from the farm to eat and to freeze.
    The vegetable garden adventure has been fun. Yours is producing as it should. Congrats on that –
    and keep the sprinkler on!
    K

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