Maybe a resolution…

Upon the advice of numerous friends, several of whom are health-care professional, I have fired Dr. Blindside after an unsuccessful effort to have him explain to me in detail about further eye operations he was planning for me last November. The new retinal surgeon I have been seeing since December has been candid and to the point as to how much he might be able to do for me to restore some vision to my left eye and what needed to be done. His manner with me is good. He has not treated me like some fluffy little old lady who could be satisfied with blandishments and false-reassurances. He answers question I have had, not with the off-hand, ‘don’t you worry, nice little woman, we’ll fix you right up’ or surprised reaction to very specificqueries about treatment and prognosis by Dr. Blindside, but with straight-forward, detailed and patient answers which have given me much more confidence to undergo the knife, yet again.

So, the operation is to happen on April 25 – soon, now. There have been numerous tests up to now, and good follow-up with information about those tests. The date for the operation was set for a specific time, not on an on-call basis depending on cancellations, as was the custom with Dr. Blindside. We can actually plan our lives and doings based on a firm operation date. Rumpole has booked off the day to see me through the operation.

It has been exactly a year since the first of the eye operations. Now, finally, there may be some sort of resolution to the question of how much vision may be improved for me. Even the slightest improvement will be a gift. Right now, my sight is so poor that even watching television, movies or a video is a drag. I have to sit about 3 feet from the screen. I have become house-bound as I feel vulnerable in the outside world where unpredictability reigns. The Spring sights, which previously never failed to thrill me, lack in specificity of detail which increases visual pleasure. I miss drawing and painting, wandering around and looking about. And am cautiously anticipating a small promise of even slight return of my previous freedoms, occupations and pleasures.

16 Responses to “Maybe a resolution…”

  1. Vanni B Says:

    I didn’t realize just how bad your eyesight is… and hope all goes well with the operation. The first doctor’s manner is atrocious and not very professional!
    Don’t cha worry, indeed!

    The daffodils are very cheerful right now considering the lack of sunshine in my part of the world.

    Thinking of you. Hugs.

  2. tugster Says:

    my thoughts and prayers go with you

  3. Trish Scott Says:

    I am glad you got rid of that jerk and have found a Dr who treats you with the respect you deserve. All the best for a wonderful outcome on your surgery. I’ll send some (universe) juice your way.

  4. onemoreoption Says:

    My love’s sister had serious problems doing “easy and safe” corrective eye surgeries. And she too had a doctor who communicated poorly. Keep compairng and contrasting. Good of you to talk to several doctors. All my prayers and best wishes.

  5. Gloria, Writer Reading Says:

    I love the name Dr. Blindside. I’m sad for your vision loss. I think that is the hardest sense to lose, especially for an artist. I would much rather lose my hearing (which I did temporarily and wore a horrible hearing aid and it was terrible, but I still would rather that than lose my vision.) So I’m so glad you have a new physician who is straightforward and respectful and competent. That on-call business is completely crazy, bordering on unethical. Of course you require specific dates for appointments and surgery to plan your life around. Not to mention psychologically preparing yourself for surgery, which has a great impact on the success and recovery from surgery. My mother has had numerous eye surgeries for numerous problems, including eye cancer, and her vision is almost back to normal. It’s quite amazing. I wish you miraculous improvement in your vision in time to appreciate the rest of spring.

  6. suburbanlife Says:

    Vanni – my tulips are gorgeous, and our apple tree is budding like mad – really magical how this happens every year and yet year by year the cycle repeats, but every time seems to be a first experience. I love the photos of your glorious clematis in bud – bet the scent is something special. Thanks for your good wishes! G

    tugster – your good wishes are much appreciated. Thank you… G

    Trish – thanks for collecting some Universal vibes for me and sending them in this direction. I am very hopeful… G

    Onemoreoption – there are all kinds of practitioners out ‘there’, a whole range of competencies; many with poor people skills and some with okay ones. Thank you for your supportive words. G

    Gloria – it is an invented name, as you might think. I can’t say dr. Blindside is not very capable, just that so much had gone wrong and his manner was off-putting so I completely lost confidence in him – almost became phobic in my reactions to him. Bad results from surgeries have complex causes, many of which are outside a surgeon’s direct control. But i do feel a lot more confident with the new surgeon – he’s not as glib with the explanations. Wow – your Mom had gone through some tough stuff with her eye and it is amazing how diagnosis and treatment are so effective these days. Thanks for your kind, thoughtful and encouraging comment. Much appreciate it. G

  7. Nita Says:

    Best of luck with your treatment. It’s always good to take a second and third opinion. Good you took a firm decision with your old one. The patient always knows, that is what I feel.

  8. Vanni B Says:

    It was interesting to read your interpretation of my Photo Booth photo. You amazed me with your insight. Thank you.

    I love tulips. I’ve always felt that daffodils look like plastic but it’s been especially dull this spring so I’ve gained an appreciation for them.

  9. mariacristina Says:

    Dr. Blindside– you’ve got to turn him into a character in a short story! I do hope your new doc can help. You must be having a tough time of it, yet really you don’t complain. Even here you simply wish it were different. And it sounds like it will be.

    My ittle dog has gone blind recently, very quickly too! He walks into walls, poor thing, and is afraid to go down stairs. I’m carrying him outside these days.

    I like Nita’s advice. I wish she could be my doctor. She’s so sensible!

  10. lookingforbeauty Says:

    Maybe you could find a way to off Dr Blindside in your next mystery novel. Or put him in the one you are working on and you could get your legal revenge without consequences there.
    We’re all pulling for you. I can’t wait to find out how much it improves your sight. You, of all people, with the vision and creativity you have, should be endowed with that miraculous gift of sight so that you can continue on with your life work.

  11. suburbanlife Says:

    Nita – you are a wise one. I just wished you lived closer! G

    Vanni – i am soured on daffodils. They are everywhere, and commonplace. Now tulips even when they are dying are magnificent. My friend Prissy German Tourist has taken some of the most beautiful photos of daffodils. you can see his work at G

    Chrisitne – it is awful when our dogs go blind. they exhibit the same fear, stress and disorientation that we do when in poor vision. Your old dog is lucky to have you as his human.

    I agree about Nita. She is also great friend material I think. G

    Lookingforbeauty – I have nothing against dr. Blindside, so he doesn’t need to meet with a dramatic, overwritten death. It’s only that his bedside manner, for which he is greatly loved by many other patients except me, is like an irritating tick someone you meet has. i know he is well respected as a clinician and surgeon. But he’s not the surgeon for me. G

  12. Nita Says:

    Now the both of you are making me feel sentimental! I am indeed very lucky to know wonderful people like you Suburban and Christine.

  13. tysdaddy Says:

    My thoughts are with you as you approach your surgery.

    How has this loss of sight affected your work?


  14. suburbanlife Says:

    Tysdaddy/Brian – thanks for your putting out your energy to the universe. I have no depth perception, so stairs are a drag, or changes in level. Have no peripheral vision from the left side, have it on the right, but the vision there is so poor as to prevent me from driving, seeing detail from a distance greater than two feet away. So I don’t paint, because I don’t have the depth vision to control kinetic aspects of the mark making. what is left by vway of vision is very valuable to negotiate my way around the world. I have become more tentative around people because i cannot read their expressions soon enough to be confident of reading them. However, am still kicking, bitching, typing, reading, loving and enjoying life. G

  15. ybonesy Says:

    I wish you the best on the 25th. That’s this Friday.

    Oh, something you said in your response to tysdaddy about being more tentative around people because you can’t see their expressions…that reminded me of something. I had wondered, in your last post about teaching painting and the observations you had about students and their materials, is this acuteness around your observations a new sense as a result of your loss of other components of your eyesight? I’m thinking now of how when someone loses one sense, other senses start to get sharper. I hope my question makes sense. It was something that was rolling around in my mind as I read that last post.

  16. suburbanlife Says:

    ybonesy – I had previously wondered about what loss of a particular capacity might result in, would other senses be relied on more by way of compensation. Might it have something to do with the fact that one tends to slow down and not rely so much on automatic and not-in-the-forebrain kind of awareness in perceiving the sensory data available to one, but rther become conscious of phenomena that previously merely seeped into the reactive stew one can be? Now you’ve set me to thinking – something that I am happy you did for me here. You always provoke when you comment, and that is invaluable to us all her in blogland. G

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