Aphasia…

I know what I want to say.

You look at me, befuddled, while

I repeat over and over again

that which I want to acknowledge,

understand.

I am telling you I am afraid

of this gradual numbness

up my right side where my skin prickles,

a half of me faded away.

My tongue, a fat slug in side my mouth,

writhes,  to form the words

crowding my mind.

I repeat over and over again

all that I want to say!

I am panicked at

the look of bewilderment and concern which

registers on your face.

Clearly, you don’t hear

what I struggle to tell you!

I repeat over and over again.

Please hear me…

This is a sketch I wrote a couple of years ago in the poetry workshop given by my young poet friend, and as in drawn sketches  have erased and substituted a word here and there to clarify things a little for myself.  This is a germ of an idea based on a memory of a TIA(Transient Ischemic Attack) I experienced 14 years ago and which so frightened me.

I have posted this sketch for Jade Park  (http://jadepark.wordpress.com) who is a woman writer describing her feelings about her stroke (at a young age) and her journey of recovery.  We are not alone!

2 Responses to “Aphasia…”

  1. jadepark Says:

    thanks 🙂
    I’m sorry you had to go through a TIA–those aren’t very fun either.

  2. Nach Says:

    I’m working hardly trying to learn english: I can understand it ±, but I cannot feel in english. That’s why I break down your sketch when I read it. But that’s the learning way!
    Thanks for your words, suburban !

    And speaking about words… “survive”… I hate this word: why not “live” or “change” or “explain” or anything?
    Survive implies dependence from something that is threatening the life from a conservative perspective.
    But if you look from an “adventure” perspective, that threatening risk becomes an objective: something to conquer and pass.
    Then you’re a suburban conqueror, and not a suburban survivor.

    Oufff! I am sweating!!! This is my first english workshop!!
    Correct me pleaaase!

    One saludo.
    Nach.

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